Ngantuk, nak tido malas.
Penat, nak rehat malas.
Bosan, nak buat apa-apa pun malas.
Malas, nak pikir pun malas.
Asyik malas je sampai bila kita nak maju? Sampai bila nasi tu nak dibiarkan menjadi bubur? Sure makan bubur pun sedap gak. Macam malam ni, wife buat bubur, sedap bukan tak sedap. Ni first time dia nak masak, mesti extraordinarily good!
Tapi sampai bila kita nak makan bubur je? (ni doesn't apply to me la kan, I'm just saying that if asyik malas je nasi tu hari-hari jadi bubur - it's an expression).
Cakap pasal bubur ni tak guna gak sebab tak ada kena mengena dengan entri kali ni except bahagian tadi je...moving on.
Bila dan macam mana kita boleh nak kikis perasaan malas ni? Malas bukan penyakit, sebab orang tak masuk hospital sebab malas. Unless orang tu dah lintas jalan sampai pertengahan lepas tu dia rasa malas nak teruskan and kena langgar kereta. Then orang tu masuk hospital sebab malas.
Sebenarnya banyak instances lagi orang masuk hospital sebab malas (malas gi check bump kat leher, malas makan ubat, malas guna protection waktu...moving on).
So akibat malas ni semua orang pun tahu. Tapi still orang tak nak buat apa-apa bila dah malas tu. Ni kadang-kadang la, and tak apply dekat semua orang.
Kenapa bila dah tahu benda tu result dia tak elok, dah tahu boleh dapat lebih if kita buat yang kita tahu lebih elok, kita tak nak buat? Macam malas ni laa. Dah tahu tak elok kita buat juga perangai malas, end up kita rugi. Bukan kita je, think about it. Anak kita rugi, keluarga kita rugi, mak ayah kita rugi, jiran kita boleh rugi.
Ni reminder to myself and to others, jangan malas. Rugi. Macam buat jahat lain la gak. Memang kedang-kadang tu result short term dia menarik minat. Tapi long term kita fikir?
Contohnya--Mencuri, dapat duit. Merogol, dapat puaskan nafsu. Membunuh, lepaskan dendam. Malas, dapat rileks. Tapi in the long run--Mencuri, orang tahu kita miskin. Merogol, dapat anak haram (somewhere). Membunuh, nak basuh baju penuh darah susah lagi-lagi baju mahal yang disayangi. Malas, apa pun tak dapat.
Kena fikir akibat, tu yang paling penting. If betul malas and akibatnya tidak begitu teruk tak apa. Contoh, malas la nak amek controller untuk tukar channel. Akibatnya kena tengok cerita cina yang pakai costume tu. Redha je la and terima la orang cina ni memang suka pakai costume. If malas nak buka kipas angin sedangkan dah kepanasan. Redha je la, sweating is good for you.
Tapi if akibat teruk memang tak patut kita redha dengan sifat kemalasan. Contoh, if malas tutup air masak kat dapur, meletup cerek panas tu tau laa. Or if malas nak bagi kucing makan, nanti bangkai kucing tu siapa nak tanam busuk-busuk tu? Pastu malas pula nak tanam, dah kena endure bau busuk for months. Dah bau busuk tu diredhai, terima la sakit dada la apa. Ni la akibatnya orang malas.
Sekarang saya sendiri nak cuba resolute and ubah diri dari malas kepada semi-rajin. Semi-rajin is better sebab semi-rajin ni tak memenatkan badan tapi dalam masa yang sama tak membebankan diri di masa hadapan.
Peribahasa: Kemalasan mesti ditentang, musuh jangan dicari.
* apabila selesai menulis entri ini, saya dapat tahu wife tidak lagi masak bubur. Saya redha.
Watching football is not something that my wife yearn for every weeknight. But being a good loyal wife, and considering we only have one TV, she submits to my yearning instead.
Watching football with her can be described in one word--fun.
Here are some of the "football" related comments she made while we were watching the Everton v Manchester United clash last night:
"Uih ensem dia ni..." ~ referring to Mikel Arteta an undoubtedly handsome guy playing for Everton.
"rambut cam jebobok..." ~ referring to Maroune Fellaini the Everton hero that night.
"Eh! Dia smack the ass, gay ke apa?" ~ Van Der Sar smacked Vidic's ass as a show of support.
"E'eh cam amek anak jer...taa-te, taa-te" ~ Van Der Sar was picking up the ball at the edge of his box
"nama dia Yobo?" ~ She can't accept that Yobo is a name.
"ni bukan main bola ni" ~ Players were tackling religiously, as you would expect in football matches.
"asyik trip, trip, trip..." ~ She still can't accept that the players were tackling each other.
"Woah! Pening gila mata, macam nak juling...bola tu wuuu~" ~ The ball was moving fast from one player to another.
"Aih!! Woah woah....Eeee hihi, air liur dia terkeluar..." ~ Ronaldo had a chance to score but he squandered. Then he did the obligatory spitting but didn't do it that elegantly I suppose.
"Muka petak...Eeee tak kacak.." ~ Of Ronaldo. Try telling that to thousands of his female fans.
"haa masuk, masuk, masuk!!!" Funny. Though it's normal for fans to say this, but the fact that the ball wasn't even near the goal (still way outside the box) and no chance was actually in sight, I don't know why she screamed so.
"Oish! Woah...tut tut tut...apsal referee tu?" I can't remember why she said this or what is up with the "tut tut tut"...but I'm sure she has her reasons.
"Uih! haha that's so funny. Terapit jebobok tu kat bawah..." Vidic and Fellaini were fighting an aerial battle. Fellaini lost the battle, evidently.
"Eh...Owh dear God!" Can't remember why.
"Kerow gila...kaki pengka ni..." Referring to Ronaldo's miss. It was in fact an easy chance.
"Eeee hihi nampak...." James Vaughan was about to come on from the substitute bench, and I guess as the pants were too tight, she saw the caged birdie *wink wink*.
"Yakubu? Haha best gila nama...Yobo, Yakubu..." She has little knowledge of African name I guess...Still can't accept Yobo's.
"Uih, apa ni, nak bertumbuk" Tough tackling is forbidden in my wife's version of football.
"Diorang balancing diorang...boleh amek ballet" Apparently the players didn't fall easily.
"Eh apa ni? Naan eh nama dia...(I said, Nani)...Nani? Cam nama orang perempuan..." Haha just funny.
"Eh rambut dia ada ekor. Cam ekor naga..." I think she referred to Arteta again, the handsome lad just now.
"Eh apa masalahnya? Kenapa orang pandang-pandang ni?" Apparently watching other players is also a foul in my wife's version of football.
Those are some of the weird football related comments she gave. Those were only comments made throughout 30 minutes of football! Can't wait to watch the Arsenal match with her tonight!
Semalam, saya dan wife pergi Mydin beli barang-barang dapur sikit. Masalahnya on the way tu jam sebab kereta terlampau banyak. So badan memang dah start letih la kan masa tu. Dah kat Mydin tu parking jauh, and kene buat pit stop kat Courts Mammoth pula, jalan lagi jauh, so badan lagi letih. Not for me la kan sebab saya sihat dan kuat (sebenarnya ngantuk gila jalan-jalan semalam).
Badan wife la extra letih. Tapi dia suka jalan-jalan and if ikat dia kat pokok pun she'll find a way to wiggle herself out just untuk jalan-jalan - lepas tu dia ikat diri dia balik kat pokok.
So sekarang kalau jalan-jalan lebih sikit mula dia terpegang sana, terpegang sini. Dia membongkok sikit, muka cemek pula, tangan mula nak grab semua benda keliling dia. Tapi sekejap je pastu dia ok dah.
Semalam dah nak balik dari Mydin tu macam tu la dia. Bila tengok dia rasa kesian, tapi sebab tak boleh nak buat apa, mampu tengok and buat muka concern je. Lepas tu ayat sama, "You okay? nak pergi doctor?". Dia akan jawap, "No, it's okay"
Yang best tu masa tengok dia semalam tengah pegang perut dia yang extra large tu, nampak macam dia baru beli tembikai yang sehat dari Mydin and simpan dalam baju. Kalau orang yang tak tahu apa-apa tentang orang mengandung, atau apa-apa tentang tembikai, mesti ingat memang betul dia tengah sorok tembikai. Orang tu akan kata, "Tembikai RM5.69 pun tak nak bayar..ish ish".
Now comes the question, adakah wife saya patut teruskan bekerja? Dia memang nak teruskan, and understandably so. Dia tak nak rugikan maternity leave before pregnancy. Nak guna sebanyak mungkin for the post pregnancy excitements.
Then again kita memang dah ada plan if anything happens, before, during or after work. Masa tengah drive ke apa semua pun dah plan. But scary jugak la kan. So my suggestion has always been, take a leave one week before. Tapi dia kalau boleh nak a day before je baru take leave. Tak apa, dia memang kuat and has always been so. Percentage keyakinan lebih la sekarang ni because of her ability and strength.
Tapi all these anticipations of when and where we are going to be masa the actual birth giving is going to start tu is quite confusing and scary (sikit je scary, taknak wife worry). Kekadang tu dia ada contractions and all tapi kekadang tu sakit perut sahaja and bukan contraction. People, pregnant woman are as confused about their body as a girl who is starting her fist period. They don't know anything about their body.
Mula-mula ingat contraction, may end up just being gas. Then something like a WWII bomb would erupt and you don't know what is happening. Mula-mula ingat gas and end up memang gas. Gas banyak badan diorang ni.
My wife tak insecure about her body as some woman would be masa pregnancy. Dia rasa semua besar tapi okay lagi because selama hidup ni dia asyik kecik je. Jadi besar sekali sekala best jugak - agaknya ini dia fikir kot, tapi dia tak ngaku...hihi. Dia cuma takut, sebab besar sangat baby tu susah nak keluar.
Doctor dah assure her yang badan dia okay lagi and ketinggian dia would be good enough to deliver the baby normally. Then again, if my wife's fear pun I understand. It's only logical to be afraid. That thing shoots out of the body from a very small "exit". It's like pushing a boulder through a rabbit hole - if you know what I mean *wink wink*.
The trick is too always stay calm. Macam mana resah, macam mana susah and macam mana sakit pun, they have to try and stay calm. What the husband can do is to always assure her that it's going to be okay and the pain would gradually go away (after giving birth la kan). Plus it is so worth it. A baby would be born; what better thing can you be rewarded with for all your effort kan? But saying is one thing, looking from the sides is another thing and actually going through it like my wife is, is a whole different ball game.
Here's hoping that the baby slides out easy!
"Hmm...It didn't seem like this a minute ago." Unborn thought. "Maybe it's this being walking about again. How many times does it need to go back and forth? This is getting ridiculous. It's hard to get just a little bit of rest nowadays".
Her thoughts were stalled by a sudden shift in position.
"Woah! Not so fast!" Unborn was caught by surprise. Her comfortable stretched position was suddenly minimized by the dwindling walls around her.
"Here we go again. It's only been minutes since the last trip." Unborn kicked the closest thing her feet could reach in frustration. "You deserve it...huh!" Unborn bellowed. The being moved quickly responding to the kick.
Unborn suddenly realised that the liquids surrounding her were suddenly reduced, leaving her quite bumpy and rutted - quite uncomfortable, she thought.
"I think this being is shrinking. I can't seem to move my arms and legs as freely as I did before. It really needs to grow." Unborn told herself. "Oh man, now I'm stuck!" Unborn was unable to move her legs to a more compromising position. It seems that her leg got stuck in some hole.
Suddenly she heard water flowing drastically from under her. It sounded like a waterfall.
"Okay, now we're moving again" She told herself. "Hey, at least my leg's not stuck anymore. That's much better" Unborn was quite relieved.
Then she heard a click and a loud bang right behind her. "Oh my God! Gets me e-ve-ry time!" She said in frustration.
The being is moving rather slowly now, but it is not stopping. "Huh, usually it would have stopped by now" Unborn thought. "Maybe it wants to stock up on this gooey thingy. It does feel rather dry in here".
Again, a clicking sound and bright light caught her by surprise.
"Okay, why must it move?" Unborn was fed up with all the surprises she had to endure.
She was right, the being was increasing the amount of liquid which surrounded unborn. "Okay that's a lot better. Aaaaah yes, this feels good. Why must it decrease this gooey thingy if it is just going to stock up again? It's not like it's getting smelly or anything" Unborn thought.
The being started walking again and this time it walked towards a darker place. It stopped abruptly and moved into a horizontal position.
"Okay I hope this time it stays still. I just want to rest for awhile. 18 hours a day sleeping is just not enough. What happened to 22 hours a day anyway?" Unborn started feeling rather light headed. "YAaaaaawwwwn...I hope...itt..doo..doees...nnot..mmoo..." Unborn wasn't able to finish her thoughts and fell asleep.
*the facts in this story were made up and were not made in accordance with actual scientific facts. In fact it's rather distorted and a blatant lie. It's highly fictitious and untrust worthy. All in all in good fun...haha!
Ok tu jer bab tu. Tak ada kene mengena dengan entri kali ni or anything to do with real life pun. In fact tak ada pun confront dengan orang yang camtu lately. Tiba-tiba rasa nak sebut.
Baby! What? Baby!!!! Exciting times ahead! Bila orang tanya baby dah due? Saya jawap, belum! Sebab apa? dah memang tu jawapan dia. Memang baby tak keluar lagi. Ni pun tak ada kena mengena dengan apa-apa.
Can anyone sense my excitement?
Nanti before you know it I'll be like, "Sofeah! Don't play too far okay? Ayah wants you to play where ayah can see you". Then Sofeah will look right at me with those big blue eyes (tak malu anak mata biru) and say, "Alright ayah. Sofeah main dekat jer". Masa ni Sofeah umur dah 17 tahun...what?!
Haha time does fly by very fast. With a blink of an eye, my life has become how it is right now. Blink of an eye tu expression je. Dah berapa banyak blink dah pun ni. Dah la I have this habit of blinking and making that rabbit face.
Orang selalu kata, ingat senang camtu je anak tu menggelungsur keluar macam yang awak selalu katakan? Isteri you kena teran tau. In English pulak: you think it's as easy as sliding out? Your wife has to teran tau. But I'm positive. My positivity say, the first expression my baby's going to give is, "weeeeeeee!!". In fact it's "weeeeeee!! fun, let's do that again!". Of course if that's the case then my wife would be happy, and that's what I want ultimately.
My wife has been feeling stomach cramps and contractions. Tak kerap sangat but enough to worry me. Dah la tu handphone dia yang teramatlah tua tu asyik mati je. Takleh diselamatkan lagi. She says it's on life support. So dia nak contact susah and bila dia gi keje tu agak risau la kan. If emergency ke apa, die nak contact payah.
SO! As it is right now, we're hoping it all goes well and that she doesn't have to face problems while at work or whilst driving to or back from work. Sebab hal phone ni memang merisaukan. Another way is, dengan membeli handphone baru. Since we're on a tight budget, siapa-siapa yang hendak menderma sila tinggalkan nombor contact anda atau e-mail. Tak banyak pun. Jika ada 20 orang derma like RM30 dah dapat RM600 boleh beli handphone ada MP3 and camera 1.3 megapixel. Tak nak mintak banyak.
In English (since some may want to contribute from overseas): My wife's phone dies a lot. Contribute to me and wife. Leave contact info or e-mail and I'll get back to you.
Haha! Over la kan tu...
Fun nak jadi ayah ni. So siapa-siapa di luar sana yang sudah berkahwin, don't be afraid. Try it out. Ceh boleh try-try pulak. I mean, give it a go. Rezeki tu sentiasa ada. Bagi yang belum kahwin, jangan menggatal sangat. Kahwin dulu. Kalau tak ada duit, nikah je takyah kenduri besar-besar. If semua okay, mak ayah pulak problem, kahwin lari. If ada duit tapi belum bersedia, jangan ngada-ngada. Banyak possibility lain tapi the gist of the advice is, kahwin and reproduce lah ye.
Akhir kata, be good to life and life will be good to you.
Bersyukur kami pada Allah, ramai juga orang yang hadir. Tak rugi makanan yang dimasak oleh mak-mak kami. Memang tak sangka ramai juga kawan yang kelaparan dan mencari tempat untuk makan free.
Terima kasih rakan-rakan yang hadir. Saya meminta ampun kepada mereka yang tidak dijemput. Bukan kerana kami terlupa ataupun tidak mahu jemput (some memang kami terlupa - extra maaf!), tapi kerana rumah kami tidak begitu besar dan budget kami amat terhad.
Lain kali jikalau saya mempunyai kesempatan dan budget yang lebih besar sudah tentu saya buat pool side party dan semua rakan dijemput hadir - siap mereka yang terlalu jauh, kami akan sediakan plane ticket dan jemput dari airport. Buat sementara ini, itu hanyalah impian nun jauh di hujung mimpi (dalam mimpi pun nun jauh kat hujung2, apatah lagi dalam realiti).
Memikir sejenak tentang majlis yang tidak seberapa tetapi membuahkan pelbagai kenangan itu, saya sedar bahawa sememangnya bukan saya sahaja yang sudah seakan-akan dewasa, tetapi rakan-rakan yang lain juga. Mereka datang dengan membawa diri masing-masing yang sudah melangkah ke alam pekerjaan, dengan sut dan tie (takdela sut dan tie masa datang hari tu kan, saja tulih).
Perbincangan tidak lari jauh. Boleh dirumuskan dengan dua perkataan, kisah silam dan alam pekerjaan (langsung bukan dua perkataan, more like lima). Walaupun masih terdapat beberapa yang masih belajar, namun visi dan misi mereka menggambarkan seseorang yang sudah bersedia untuk mengharungi kehidupan selepas belajar.
Terdapat juga kawan yang pada suatu ketika dulu tidak ada seorang rakan gadis (basically awek tapi entri ni sangat proper bahasanya, taknak spoil la dengan perkataan 'awek'). Azmin, ye tahniah awak sudah berpunya. Setelah lebih 10 tahun mengenali dirimu, inilah pertama kali saya melihat raut wajah manja dan gembira dalam satu masa yang sama (ye ar dulu takde awek, if ko buat muka manja gak kat depan aku ke man memang nak kene penampar ar kan - dengan ejat aku tau ko dah biasa buat). Shasha tu nampak baik orangnya, jangan spoil, jaga dia elok-elok and lihat suatu hubungan itu sebagai investment jangka masa panjang. Tahniah Min, satu perenggan khas untuk kau je - damn.
Ada juga yang hadir pada hari itu dengan isteri dan anak (yang bawak anak tu lebih kepada saudara, kawan-kawan yang ada anak tak hadir pulak). Fahman dan Fitriyah, Fiza dan Syamil, mereka hadir sebagai pasangan lelaki-isteri yang belum sampai usia 1 tahun lagi. At least Fiza dan Syamil dah boleh expect anak dah dalam masa beberapa bulan lagi, Fahman dan Fitriyah bila lagi? C'mon man don't dilly dally. Insya'Allah anak kita boleh jadi playmate. Sofeah dan Suhaila (sedap aku bagi nama untuk anak ko, takpe bila dah betul ada nama anak ko bagitau aku and aku edit sikit entri ni).
Apa yang buat saya rasa lebih seperti seorang dewasa adalah anak yang bakal lahir dari perut isteri saya dalam masa lebih kurang 3 minggu lagi. Sekarang ni bayi tersebut masih selesa tucked in perut mak dia. Mak dia je kurang selesa sebab anak tu aktif sangat.
Untuk anak ku yang dikasihi, dirindui dan disayangi (kasih dengan sayang macam sama, tapi sebenarnya tak), jika sudah bersedia untuk lahir, lahirlah sebagai seorang anak yang taat kepada Allah dan kami, ummi dan ayah. Jadilah anak yang sopan santun dan berbudi pekerti mulia. Jadilah anak seperti mana TV Pendidikan selalu promote. Jadilah anak yang beriman dan solehah (kami ada sebab untuk expect anak ni anak perempuan). Jadilah anak yang menyayangi kami dan menghargai kami sebagai ummi dan ayah. Kami janji akan menjaga kamu sepertimana telah diajar dalam iklan-iklan kerajaan yang berunsur kekeluargaan.
Anak kami dijangka keluar pada 10.11.2008. Sekarang 20.10.2008 dan ini bermakna dalam masa 21 hari lagi, anak kami akan menggelungsur keluar dari perut isteri saya dan melompat ke dakapan ibunya dengan bantuan doktor yang menyambut dia. Namun, itu adalah berdasarkan ramalan doktor. Doktor ramal, Allah yang menentukan. Basically, any moment from now the baby will start sliding out gleefully.
Sofeah (jika betul sepertimana yang kami lihat waktu scan), ayah ada trial kat court awal bulan hadapan antara 3-15 November. Ayah cukup malas nak pergi walaupun kerja nak prepare untuk trial-trial pada sepanjang tarikh tersebut telah dibuat dengan usaha yang tidak dapat ditandingi (ada 3 trial dalam 2 minggu). Ayah appreciate sangat jikalau Sofeah boleh keluar dalam 3 November camtu sebab ayah boleh ambil leave selama at least 1 minggu and tidak perlu pergi trial-trial tersebut. Remember, ayah sayang Sofeah sangat-sangat.
Cepat masa berlalu. Dewasa dah saya. Dewasa dah ayah kamu.
For those of you who have read my wife’s blog (Faridatul), you would undoubtedly ask yourself, are they divorcing? Haha no laaa!!!!!
No actually would probably ask yourself the same question she asked. Why is it that sometimes things are never enough? We always want more. More than we have and more than we can handle (or afford).
This question can never be answered. Because we won’t allow ourselves to answer the age old question, are we satisfied?
Sure some optimist might say, yes I am satisfied. My life is the best life anyone can possibly imagine. My bedroom is full of pink lilies and my closet is the size of the
Right? Optimists are crazy.
Whilst the pessimist would go on life saying things are never enough. Things never go well for me. This black is not black enough, it should black to the point of oblivion. This sunflower doesn’t look like a sun. It looks like that scary baby in Tele-Tubbies. This car doesn’t go VVvvvvrrrooomm, it goes, Vvvoooommm (without the ‘r’). Aaargh life’s stupid!
Right? Pessimists are weird.
Life is never perfect. Life can make you turn one way (as you desire) and sometimes force you turn the other way (as you oppose). That’s life.
Like any cook would say, too much or too less of something, the food you cook (or bake whatever) would not be cooked right. The ingredients must be perfect. Too much baking soda, the cake will flatten -- Ironic considering baking soda’s supposed too make the cake inflate (or flourish, or…what’s the word?!)
So instead of being an optimist, or a pessimist, everyone should find the balance between both. It makes you better prepared. Like the Boy Scout’s motto, ‘always be prepared’. Indeed being the balance of both is. Be an oppesimist, or a pessoptimist.
When you want something, you can’t get, you take it as something that’s negative. Why not? It is negative. It is something you failed to achieve, or receive. Don’t deny the fact that it is negative. If you do, you will die. Haha tak pasal. No, if you do, then you will harbor too much hope to the point that, if you fail again, you will die. Haha no!
So anyway…however, it is not the end of the world. The optimism comes in the form that you can try harder, or that it’s for the better. Look at the positive, out of the negative. Both are present. Optimists aren’t necessarily better than pessimists. But both have got their strong points. The world needs that balance!
So why are we always unsatisfied? No clue. Maybe it’s because there are too many things in life that we are bound to want some and lose some. No one gets everything. Can Bill Gates build the Pyramid? I’m sure he wants to if he’s given the chance to be as legendary as the Egyptian Pharaohs. Not possible though. Can George Bush win the hearts of every American? Not possible.
To my wife,
No there’s nothing wrong with wanting. There’s no wrong in asking for it. There’s no wrong in feeling hard done by, if you don’t get it. But truthfully, I would give more than half of my life for you -- if that’s what you want. However, I cannot give you every material thing in the world.
You don’t ask a lot from me. You don’t want that many things. You’re not wrong in wanting most of the things you want. I never fault you if you’re angry. I don’t care if you release some of your dissatisfaction on me.
But life’s not easy and I have tried my best to accommodate all that I can. I will try harder next time. Don’t be disappointed hon, I promise to make things easier for you. I promise I'll provide better.
I know you will say, “it’s okay, you have done more than enough” (or something to that effect - hey I know her well), but nothing is ever enough. Like I said before, I am an oppesimist and my mind is set: Things are never enough, but then again it is never going to be enough. I shall live my life fulfilling what I can, but leaving gaps on what I can never fill. Such is life - I have got to face reality. I hope you do too.
Love you hon!
To think that 8 months ago I was merely a married man with my newly wedded wife. Now I'm a married man and a father-to-be. I did not know what to do then. I only found out that my wife was pregnant. I was studying still. What a life, I thought. Did I think it was a mistake then? Nope. Felt happy and glad - joyful.
Fast forward several weeks ahead of that 8 months ago, went to the doctor to do a check up on my wife. At that time I was not employed. Had to pay for the check up with my wife's earnings. Saw my little child punching the air and I thought, what a beauty. My hand subconsciously touched my wife's feet - that was the sincerest joy I've ever felt. I remember that moment like it was yesterday.
From then on our life was not roses and peaches. It was, to borrow my previous word, turbulent. I got a job and started moving to another house. We moved from one house to another. Chinese say it's not good to move houses when one is pregnant; well the Chinese would be shaking their heads to me and my wife.
We moved houses with only the clothes that we have and several presents that we got. We moved with no money in the bank left, after paying for the house deposit and some necessary items. We worried for the baby. We thought at least we need a mattress to support my wife, and we saved up for that.
My wife used to have several complications, especially with regards to her breathing. It was as if her lungs were blocked and this happened several times over during some nights. We worried but kept ourselves composed. Maybe it's normal, we thought. Indeed it wasn't, and we were glad that she survived those complications so strongly.
When the baby first kicked and moved about in that tummy, we were happy. We were excited and gleeful. It's like, we were on top of the world. A living being is actually inside my wife's stomach. What can be greater than that? What can be more magical?
Now and then during the pregnancy we encounter new experience, great memorable moments and some tearful occasions. But my wife has been the perfect pregnant wife. People say pregnant woman are emotionally unstable. Not my wife. At least I don't think so (...). She has always been quite normal. She accepts everything and is only emotional in moments that would normally see such emotions. I'm grateful for that.
Now with only 28 days to go before our expected due date, we are ready. We are ready to accept this new being into this world. I believe that we have prepared ourselves for that sufficiently. A month ago we might not be ready. We lack the facilities, we lack the fund, we lack the mental upkeep. One month later, we have provided enough for each department. Hopefully.
Now here's wishing and hoping that it all goes well. We leave it up to Allah s.w.t. right now. We know He knows best, and only He can provide the best for us. We pray to Allah that it all goes well and smooth. That it would be both natural and beautiful.
28 days is just a number. The moment might be any time for now. We do hope that it would stay on course, so that the baby would be delivered in the most prepared manner and form, that the baby has gotten all that it needs from the mother's womb, that it remains cosy in there till this hectic world accepts a new child. But again, 28 days is just a number.
Love you my unborn child. Here's wishing you well.
Haha takde orang pikir camtu pun, saja jer continuing my emo blogging streak.
So anyway, I am happy. Happy to be living the life I have always wanted, independent and making it my on my own - with my wife of course. We may be young, but I do believe we are resolute and hardworking people. You know what hardworking people deserves? They deserve a good life.
Yesterday, me and my wife fasted. The extra 6 days after Ramadhan fast. It's a recommended practise in Islam. The day went as usual, me going to work and my wife wife went to her's. Then after working hours she picked me up and we went straight home.
Here's the gist of the story. My wife was tired. I mean really donwright, cannot move, just need to sleep, tired. So what do we eat for berbuka? Jeng jeng jeng!! Wan to the rescue. Haha did nothing much except that I cooked.
It's not like it's the first time I cook. If you've read my wife's blog, she will tell you that I've cooked before. But usually it bears fruit with her guidance. This time, I'm all alone. It's not like I cooked a simple hot dog, burger, scrambled egg or anything. This time it's real food! Haha..
Okay, I had a look at a cook book that we have. But only to see how things are done. The recipes are all mine. I cooked chicken with tomato paste and a dash of those spices stuffs coupled with potato thingy-ma-jiggy. It came out, Chicken Tangine (well at least it's supposed to be that but due to lack of ingredients available).
This is what this website describe Chicken Tangine as : "One of the most sensual cuisines in the world, Moroccan food has spices and flavors that appeal to the smell, sight and taste. Chicken Tangine is made with rich chicken thigh meat, and spiced with garlic, ginger, coriander and cumin. Dried apricots, blanched almonds and pitted green olives, all found in the Mediterranean food basket, are added to enhance the flavor of the dish."
This is what it's supposed to look like. Mine was darker and thicker. I'd call it the Gothic version of Chicken Tangine. Plus I ate it with white rice.
Of course in my version, most of the ingredients were absent and I had to make up to it by adding tomato paste. I think because it is rich in taste, I believe that is what I'm supposed to taste if it is cooked properly anyway. Haha (comforting myself).
It tasted? I'd give it 7 out 10. It's quite good really. The rich taste of herbs and the tenderness of the chicken. However the tomato taste was quite strong and also the excessive input of sugar and salt at disturbing levels was something that I need to work on. But it was not that bad. I ate it heartily - honestly.
The thing about marriage is that, one must learn to be independent. When the going gets tough you get going. The extra added spice to mix is when one of you is pregnant. Okay, it's always going to be the wife laa kan. So when your wife gets pregnant, you have that added responsibility.
I'm not really accustomed to being that responsible. Sure I have a little sister, and I do take care of her. But it's different when it's you that this other person hangs on to. It's you that this other person depends on. No one else but you. If you don't pull through, she doesn't eat. If you fail, she lives in a rut as you do. So the pressure is always there when you live together, one relying on the other.
However, I do believe that with enough time and conviction anyone can do it. Hey, if a cat can live on its own with 5 kittens and no brain, any human being can too. Right? No? Different? Yeah I think so too.
Love you hon bun!
The Actual Recipe for Chicken Tangine:
-6 to 7 chicken thighs, boneless and skinless, cut into 2-inch chunks
-2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
-1 tablespoon olive oil
-1 medium onion, coarsely chopped
-4 cloves garlic, minced
-2 tablespoons minced gingerroot
-1 teaspoon ground coriander
-1 teaspoon ground cumin
-1 cup dry white wine
-2 cups chicken broth
-1 cup dried apricots
-1 cup whole blanched almonds
-1 cup pitted green olives In small glass bowl, place chicken and add flour. Toss chicken to coat.
In large pot over high heat, heat olive oil. Place chicken in olive oil; brown on all sides.
Reduce heat to medium-low; add onion, garlic and ginger. Saute about 5 minutes.
Stir in coriander and cumin; saute until aromatic, about 30 seconds. Add wine. Increase heat to high. Boil until wine has reduced by half. Stir in chicken broth, apricots, almonds and olives. Bring to a simmer; reduce heat to low, cover pot and simmer for 45 minutes.
Serve over cous cous.
Makes 6 to 7 servings.
Terfikir jua, siapalah saya ni? Saya memang tidak sama dengan orang lain, kuat, tegap, berani dan macam-macam lagi. Saya ni lemah dan mudah mengikut perasaan.
Macam mana nak terus bangga if this is how it's going to be?
Macam-macam dah cuba. Namun semuanya mengeluarkan result yang kurang memberangsangkan. Nak buat macam mana?
Memang betul life kena compromise. Saya tolong dia, dia tolong saya. Jika saya putar dia ke kiri, dia patut bergerak ke kiri. Tapi bukan itu yang terjadi. Dia degil.
Inikah yang kita kata compromise? Jika satu lagi pihak tak nak berganjak walau apa jua cara? Meluat juga dengan keadaan. Kadang-kadang tu memang semua jadi penat. Fizikal jangan ceritalah, mental pun sama ikut penat.
Sakit dah segalanya. Sudah tak dapat nak genggam lagi. Merah-merah dah, hati, perasaan dan segalanya. Saya ni bukanlah orang yang suka terlalu mengharap, tapi kalau dah tak boleh tu memang kecewalah.
Apa saya nak buat?
If tak dapat memang meranalah walaupun buat seketika. Lapar, penat, lali semuanya ada.
Penatlah macam ni. If betul benda ni dah buat seperti yang sepatutnya, kenapa tidak semua orang dapat merasa hasilnya? Kenapa berpihak kepada yang lebih mampu sahaja?
Bukankah itu bias?
Haiiiii penutup botol jem. Memang ko tak nak aku makan jem kat dalam tu yer.
~ ini bukan kisah benar. kebelakangan ni saya membaca blog orang-orang yang emo dan suka memberi luahan perasaan yang melampau. saya juga teringin menulis blog entri yang sedemikian rupa namun tidak ada modal. jadi saya cuba dengan sesuatu yang fictitious. memang tulih blog dengan emo (tanpa menyentuh hal politik) agak memuaskan hati~
hee...reading it again would make better sense i suppose.
Heh what an intro...so anyway.
The Raya was celebrated expectantly simple. The day before Raya, went to my mum's house thinking that we would help cook but end up going there late and just in time for berbuka. Stayed until 11.30 (planned to stay only till 9 but played board game and went on without realising the time).
Raya morning, woke up and as usual had a little teaser of what we could expect from other houses - ketupat with kuah kacang (took from mum's house). Went to the Masjid for the usual Raya prayer and went straight to mum's again. Farid was strong enough to walk up a flight of stairs at the Masjid with her fully bloated belly. Proud of her :)
Went to my aunt's house, not too long, went back home and rested. "Rest" is an understatement, we blacked out. Slept until it's time for Maghrib. So basically that's the first day of Raya. At night we watched TV.
The second day was a little bit more packed. Went to PD and then to an open house that have ended but there are leftovers in abundance. The PD trip was great because we were served with Kampung style hidangan. It was marvelous. Then the open house was in USJ and we were served with a more western style meal. Was also marvelous. Had good meals :)
Then at night, watched some more TV.
The third day was a bit stale, but we got our deserved rest. Watched TV in the morning, I went for my Friday prayer and then went to my friend's house. We were served mee sup. That's all for Friday.
Now today. My wife works in the morning so nothing going on now. Now I'm preparing to go to our friend's house (the dearests) and then straight to One Utama for some window shopping. Just wanted to walk around.
One thing though about this Raya, I watched a lot of Malay movie. I'm not a big fan. It's been quite some time since I watched one, fully. But since getting married, I have a wife who submits to the Raya mood well and influenced my own mood. So I watched.
The theme of Raya movies it seems is, sadness. I don't know why, I watched like 5 Malay movies and 4 of them are sad. With bad make ups and so-so acting - my wife cried in all 4 out 5. I'm not complaining, because I got hooked on watching them all. Criticised each and every one along the way but watched them with all intent and purposes. It didn't snooze me. Good enough.
The movies carry the same topic of rudeness, betrayal and immorality. It also seems that the actress and actors in Malay movies are the same. I saw like 3 Rosyam Nor, 3 Farid Kamil, 3 Fauziah Nawi, 2 Umie Aida and so on so forth. I think the director is Rashid Sibir or something. The same stories.
Then there's "I'm not single". Good attempt, but seriously too many plot holes in it. Not to mention the portrayal of bad morality in the society. I guess that is how life is in Malaysia nowadays. These actors should know right? That heroine girl was cute though (wife agrees so I'm not in trouble).
That's all of my Raya, for now. Exciting times ahead. Forgot to mention, having spent 3 and a half day of Raya, the unborn child has been really good. My wife isn't complaining at all. So baby, here's a message for you, be as good as this when you're growing up. We don't want no crying and running around like a spoilt brat. (haha tough kan kan?)
That's all. Gotta get ready for another Raya trip.