30/10/2008 Sofeah's Birthday - My Story of that Wonderful Day

Thursday, 30/10/08

6.20...

Woke up tired as the day before me and hon bun had gone shopping for the baby - last few baby stuffs. Hon bun had a bit of a back pain that night. She didn't sleep well. Me and mum adviced her to start taking leave. We were both worried as her due date was getting nearer.

6.30...

I asked her if she was okay, and she retorted with her usual answer,"I'm fine...". I believed her because she didn't show any signs of pain. Not like the night before, her back ached which kept her awake for hours (while I was sound asleep).

7.00...

Went off to work having had breakfast - well I did, I ate bread while she only drank milk. We both were as cheerful as ever because we completed our shopping for the baby stuff and discussed only about the baby. We discussed on the plans for Saturday, Sunday and the 'fateful' Monday. Monday being the day hon bun was supposed to be induced. Sunday was supposed to be the day I treat hon bun to her desired meal - she chose A&W.

7.30...

I arrived at my office, and hon bun as usual would take over the driver's seat and drive to
work. I still think she's the bravest woman alive because of this. I waved her goodbye ignorant of the fate that would befall us later that day.

8.00...

As usual I went about with my work (not really I was surfing the net for news). My wife sent a message, I was relieved. I know she's safe and fine now.


9.20...

Wife complained of some minor back pain. I thought it was only normal. We don't SMS during work, we usually e-mail. So the response I get from her is not as prompt as I want it to be. But as long as she believes she is fine, then there's no need to panic, I thought.

11.00...

The back pain is starting to annoy the hell out of her, she said. She started to complain constantly. I was a little bit worried but it totally skipped my mind that it could be a contraction. I thought it was only normal as her due date was nearing.

12.20...

I asked her time and time again whether she can take it and whether she would like to take the rest of the day off. I told her before, if you feel you can't continue take the day off. She decided to heed my advice. The plan is, she would pick me up from work and I'll drive her to the clinic.

1.00...

Hon bun arrived with a tired looking face. The back ache was apparent in her looks. We drove to Bangi with our mind set upon getting an MC for 2 days so she can rest for Monday.

1.20...

We arrived at the clinic and headed straight for the Gynae. She wasn't in as she was in the labour room - someone's about to be a happy mum. We were asked to go to the next floor, probably for a CTG scan - the missy wanted to check hon bun's contraction. The next floor was busy and we were again asked to move up another floor.

2.00...

The scanner machine was attached to my wife with awkward looking wires and something that looks like suction cup. We weren't expecting anything grand. just an assurance.

2.40...

The '10 minutes' CTG can went for 40 minutes. We were left in the room and forgotten. They were busy with other newborns, we understand.

3.00...

The scan result was brought to the doctor. She wasn't supposed to open her clinic at that time, but the scan was serious enough I guess. We went in to the doctor's room expecting something a little different. We sensed something was brewing. The doctor told us that the scan showed a constant contraction which is a clear indication of labour. The doctor wanted hon bun to be admitted - she has already dilated 4cm. Great, we didn't expect this.

3.20...

Hon bun was hungry. She skipped lunch for this trip to the doctor. Something bothered us, though we did bring most of the baby stuffs, we didn't bring the bag with our stuff in it (it has always been in our car forthe past one month). We talked about it and even though it's not that important, but I'm not going to miss a day with my newborn in the next few days - if I'm going home, I'd better do it now.

3.55...

While my wife struggled with her lunch, I drove home. She adviced me not to drive fast, but I can't help it. I don't want to miss any moment. The drive home from the clinic would usually take 45 minutes, if that's the case then I can't avoid the traffic jam on the way back to the clinic. I have to drive fast, regardless.

4.30...

I arrived at my home, took the necessary stuffs and went back to my car. Okay that took 5 minutes.

4.40...

I asked for an update from my wife. She said she's already in the ward and was asked to prepare herself to go into labour. I panicked a little...What? She's going in? But I'm 45 minutes away! I asked her vehemently to stop the doctor from bringing her in. I didn't know what to expect if she's in the labour room - she may be having a baby right after she went in. She had to perform her prayer so I asked her to pray a long prayer. Not only to pray that all goes well, but also to delay things a little.

5.00...

I arrived at the clinic and my wife was still in her ward. Phew! what a relief. It took me an hour to go from the clinic to home and then back to the clinic. It was all worth it. I performed my prayer and waited for the signal from the nurses with my wife. I would say we looked rather calm for two persons expecting a baby soon.

5.30...

My wife was brought to the labour room. The room wasn't big or high tech or anything. It was cozy. There can only be one person who is allowed to be there with hon bun, at a time - either the mother or the husband.

5.45...

My mother-in-law arrived. I let her into the room with hon bun. My wife needs the support from her mother too - after all she came from her.

6.00...

The scanner thingy was attached to her again. This time the machine wasn't as rundown as the last one. We heard clear heart beats. That's our daughter's. My wife began to feel some cramping in her stomach and lower abdomen, the backache was gone. It wasn't as bad as it is going to be. But I know is it still quite painful by the look of it.

6.30...

The nurse gave her some pain medication to relief her a little. It wasn't epidural, she didn't want it. She was determined not to be injected with one. I was wit her on this - I know she can take the pain, she's that strong. My mum arrived with my brother at about this time. Good, I needed her support as well.

7.00...

The azan sounded outside the building. I need to perform maghrib prayer but at the same time I was reluctant to leave my wife - her contraction was getting stronger. The nurse told me it would still take some time before she delivers, more than enough time for me to pray.

7.45...

My mum wanted to see hon bun. I let her into the room and waited outside with my brother. He was more nervous than I am.

8.15...

The pain got stronger and longer. The nurse started calling for the doc. It was probably 10 times more painful than it looks. I tried to keep myself composed and looking strong - it's for my wife. The doc arrived and burst the 'ketuban' (sorry my vocabulary fails me). She used something like a white stick. My wife's look pains me. The water filled 3/4 of the container. That's quite a lot.

8.30...

The screeching begins. I say screeching because my wife didn't really scream, she screeched. Doctor's advice: take a deep breath and push as hard as you can. It's not as easy as it sounds. Throughout this part of the ordeal, imagine being in a place where you get your breath sucked out of you and you're trying to push your way through but there's a bungee cord on your back pulling you - the cord isn't long but it's damn tough.

Hon bun tries hard to take a deep breath but fails. When that fails the pushing gets harder. Hence, the baby gets stuck somewhere down there - but I can only presume she could already see the bright light illuminating the very womb that houses her for 38 weeks and 5 days.

Again she tries hard to push and the breathing gets in the way of an easier - not to say it is easy at all - labour. She learns another technique, take a deep breath and release the air twice consecutively. That worked, but she can't push as long as the nurse wanted her to because of the fatigue that's setting in.

The baby's head is visible after about 15 minutes of sheer hardwork. But then again it gets back in because of the lack of pushing - who can blame her, she's tired. As I hold on to her arms and giving her my full support, all I can think about is, is she going to survive? Is the baby going to be safe? I have full confidence that both question can be answered with a simple, yes, but the fear is always there.

You can see blood dripping and squirting everywhere. But still only the top of the baby's head is visible. The doctor had already cut open the entry (or exit) to make it easier. Then you can really see my wife pulling out all stops and giving all her might to try and push the baby out. I don't know if she realised, but the doctor had already opted to use the vacuum. I think regardless, she was determined to do it with her own strength - just like how she opted not to use any epidural during the labour process.

As she started to useher extraordinary strength to push the baby out, the head popped out (I say pop because that's how it was to me). I was glad. Too long stuck somewhere down there could give the baby a breathing problem - that's why the doc was worried and was prepared to use the vacuum. Then the doc started to turn the head and pulling it at the same time. She said that the baby just won't turn. I was thinking, "err doc, are you sure it's safe to that to the little kid?".

Then all of sudden, without even realilsing it, the whole body was out. Phew! It was tiring watching the whole thing. Everytime my wife inhaled, I inhaled. Everytime she pushed, I pushed as well. Everytime she squezzed the iron rod given to her, I squeezed my hand as if I was doing the hard work - believe me it was tiring (though definitely not as tiring as what hon bun had to go through).

9.17...

The doc received the baby and lumped it right on hon bun's chest. She was too tired to do anything. She didn't even have the strength to hug the baby - she touched her like it was a dirty linen. But again, from what I saw, it's very much understandable - she was too tired to do anything.

The baby cried loudly. It seems that she had a little bit of a breathing problem during the whole thing. They stuck a tube right into her mouth - I didn't see them sticking it in but saw them pulling out a very long tube out her mouth (you would not be mistaken into thinking that it was a magic act like the one where the magician pulls out a bunch of handkerchief out of nowhere). The tube was used to clear the baby's lung - it acts like a vacuum, in fact, it is a vacuum.

The baby was then put into a container (I'm not sure what they call it), where she was given enough light and warmth.

9.25...

I was given the go-ahead to the pick the baby up and do the call to prayer (azan). I obligingly did just that. The baby didn't cry. I was glad. It was the first time holding my own child and the feeling was like nothing I've ever felt before. Though I must admit, half of my thoughts were fixated on the baby's mother. I felt like crying, like smiling, laughing all at the same time. But all I could do is smirk. This baby is mine, it's ours. I know I will love her forever.

After seeing what my wife went through, I could only hold a sense of amazement and appreciate her more. She deserves every bit of praises you could think of. I'm sure if any child gets to see their mother actually going through the whole thing from the beginning of the 9 months journey, there wouldn't be any treacherous child. Hoping my child would realise this as well.

Here's to a happy day, one that I have never experienced before, would never experience again and would definitely want to cherish forever.

The Lovely Nur Alya Sofeah

The 2 Days Old Sofeah with her Mum, My Hon Bun