Thinking of getting myself a white baby. Sounds a bit off. Let me start again; I discussed with my wife the other day and talked gibberish as usual, but came up with an idea; adoption.
It's cool, it's trendy and all the celebrities are doing. I've not followed any trend since I was 14 (wanted baggy pants so bad) so why not follow one now, right? And why not follow ones which are beneficial to the whole global community, right?
I mean if I get a golden tooth then that's just beneficial to me - if I don't have enough cash on me and left my credit card at home whilst purchasing an oven why not chuck off my front tooth. Also, if I start wearing blingies or bling bling thingy (jeweleries to those less trendy), well that would just weigh me down and distract people from actually noticing my trendy hairdo (the Robert Pattison skate ramp style).
So why not do some good and adopt a Caucasian American baby. Why Caucasian American? Well contrary to popular belief (and slightly off the trend) adopting orphan babies from the US is actually just as charitable as adopting babies from let's say Asia or Africa. First of all I'm Asian so adopting an Asian baby is not trendy (you don't see Madonna and Jolie adopting an American now do you?). Africa, might be a suitable baby adopting site but for the already many Africans here in my country, so it's not eccentric in nature (again following trends).
Furthermore, orphans in the US have it tough. Sure those lucky enough babies might get adopted by an okay American normal family (boring, not glamorous) but what about those who are not adopted? The US is in quite a pickle these days because of the state of their economy, known fact. Their healthcare is disappointing (no money, no insurance no health) and the gap between the rich and the poor there is appalling (much like in Malaysia but their economy is really bad and these babies would most likely be made an army and be made to fight ridiculous wars).
Aren't those good enough reasons to adopt their babies? Plus wouldn't be cool to have a Caucasian baby? I mean my child would be Caucasian. When he/she grows up looking like Rachel McAdams or Brad Pitt and coming to me asking, "Dad am I adopted?" I can be like, "sure you are son/sweety, hence your complexion, your blue eyes, your blond hair, your height, your built, slight freckles here and there and you know, the fact that you're not bin Mohd Syazwan (bin Abdullah of course)...Oo Razif/Fatimah (I'll come up with better names), you're funny aren't you". Won't that be cool?
Won't it be cooler if my adopted child cannot speak good English and would be like, "Ayah, adik nak mamam" but looking all Caucasian. When I go to the mall and my Caucasian child would be like, "nak ice cream", I'll say "tak nak makan ice cream ye sayang, nanti sakit gigi" and he/she will scream her lungs out, "nak! nak! nak! tak nak friend you!". People will be looking with eyes wide open and gasping at the scene of such pecularity.
Caucasians can raise us Asians looking all normal and such, why should it be different for us? I've seen mixed parentage where the mum's Chinese and the dad's Caucasian and the son is moulded in the same form as the dad but still there's a resemblance of the mum. That's not what I'm looking for. I'm looking for a really white kid with blue eyes, blond hair and no resemblance of us Asians, at all.
Fuyoo! (amazed at the idea)
*this is just imaginary and I doubt it'll happen, but if it does, then I would do justice to the Americans and raise him/her by letting him/her eat mostly fast foods and let him/her watch a lot of TV. This entry is not racist now is it? I'm slightly confused by what's racist and what's not nowadays.
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2 comments:
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