Nothing Much


Being 24 (25 this end of year) and surrounded by people of more or less the same age talks during lunchtime would usually revolve around marriage, money and work. So it is only normal that our conversation during lunch yesterday was about work then it moved on to money and ended up in the marriage area. This, of course is a natural flow of things – work is hell and they don’t pay us enough to satisfy our needs which includes the need to get hitched.

When asked by one of my colleague/friend how does it feel like being married? Is it that great? My automated brain response would say “damn sure it is!”. Of course my brain responded like so because that’s how I genuinely feel.

The expected follow-up question ensued - what’s so great about being married? How is it better than being single?

With a face so smug a bulldog would be proud of it, I answered, “Because it is. I am more calm, relaxed and life becomes a lot more fun in an acceptable pace”. How is that so? Well, though life is not as fast paced as when you’re single and ready to mingle, or if you’re attached to someone (boyfriend/girlfriend), ready to canoodle (not sure either), life takes its course beautifully, well-structured and with a certain raison d'ĂȘtre (for your every movement).

Indeed that’s what I really think of marriage. Everything you do after marriage is for a reason – nothing is wasted for the sake enjoyment and such. E.g. you go out for a movie with your wife to strengthen the bond of marriage and relationship, you go for a movie when you’re single/with girlfriend you don’t really get anything in return but for enjoyment. You buy things that you deem useful and you think long term, but if you’re single unless you do actually think long term then what you buy may not be of use when you’re married – you might think buying a sports car is great now but when you’re married, have children and don’t have enough money to buy a second car, you might regret not thinking twice.

I conclude by saying, yes life gets peaceful and meaningful.

But now that I have time to really think things out. I do believe in everything I said during the whole conversation, but about life being a bit more relaxed and slow-paced, I do have second thoughts. Life is extremely hectic after marriage in actuality. Remembering my first year of marriage, I didn’t relaxed one bit. If my body had time to relax my mind would not be so fortunate.

The second year is no snail either. With the involvement of a little kid in my life, it has definitely spurred things to greater pace. I can think of 1-2 weeks which I actually rested well enough but most days are tiring – work, kid and house chores.

So yeah, life is great after marriage but it’s definitely not slow. Heck, I take it back. Life is turbulent after marriage and I could only presume that this would go on till I retire - at which point I imagine life would be at it’s most relaxing; frequent visit to coffee shops, more time for photography, travelling would not be burdened by lack of leave left for the year, money to slowly burn till I die (having saved enough for the kids), 35 years to go...

Poo! (grumpy young man)


Amrah said...

argh darn! u make me really wanna get married! =p

Dearests; Matt and Anis said...

Nothing slow paced about a marriage is so true. It's a lot of hard work yet effortless at the same time.

No time to rest pun very true. Tambah pulak when you throw Masters in the mix.

You know what they say: I'll rest when I'm dead. :P Or at least once the kids dah masuk college.

Sofeah~ said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Sofeah~ said...

poo! ? fea iyyaaakkk kat blog ayah ke? haha

anis: that's y people call it rest in peace..haha...
agree with anis, marriage is hard work but effortless... =)

kak amrah: nk kawen jgn lupe jemput kami sekeluarga ye..hehe

wun said...

amrah: really? I didn't offend any single people out there did i? should get married, it's nice :)

anis/matt: haha yeah but my first reaction would always be, marriage is nice, you get to relax unlike when you're single. i think it's the cliche, settling down. who came up with that must have had such a blissful life

sofeah: haha poo! awak poo!