When People Question Our Parenting Skills

Wife and I went to the parenthood expo yesterday to check out some stuff, you know, for the wife. We went there with hope of finding this lactating pill thingy and we found them easily. We decided to go back home since my mum’s taking care of Sofeah so we want to get things done quickly and go back.

We walked around for a bit and I texted my friend - who was expecting a baby in November - to inform him about the expo. He was there at the time. I decided to go back and search for him, just to see his wife’s progress and to talk to him a bit. We entered the expo for the second time (have to go through health check all over again) – big mistake.

The moment we entered the place a man courted us and we were suddenly dragged to the side of this booth selling what look like books for kids – but there were other stuffs there too. They offered us seats and this one woman started to sit in front of us.

I thought to myself “damn, a saleswoman trying to sell us things that we know is very useful but won’t buy as yet”. But being a diplomatic and reasonable person I listened( I don’t know how to get myself out of things like these). She showed us activity books which we can use to teach Sofeah and other playcards and stuff for her early childhood education. Though I’m very interested in all those things I’m afraid RM2000 for the whole set is a bit much – even if I can pay in installments.

Then I was made to feel guilty for not investing in my child’s education. When the saleswoman suggested that I’m not placing my child’s education as priority and not willing to sacrifice for her education's sake, the saleswoman has crossed the line – a very thin line I might add.

Sure I spent more for a DSLR camera (also by installments), but I’ve been longing for one since my university days and I can’t be at fault for wanting to capture my family’s most precious moments in still images since moments can be lost forever. Plus if I play my cards right I can make extra income for my family with a camera.

Sure I did thought about this when she went on and rambled about how parents are more willing to put money in insurance instead of education and that, according to her, should not be the case. I argued what if the father dies the next day (as anyone can die at any time), wouldn’t insurance coverage help at that particular time? To be honest I don’t have an insurance for my child and wife but I’m just arguing for argument’s sake since this saleswoman has started to get on my nerves.

I agree wholeheartedly that education is the most important thing– even at our adult age education is still important. I have never defied that fact when arguing with her but when she inadvertently suggested that I’m not doing enough for my child’s education, because I do not invest in her company’s product, that’s just stoking the fire – she really needs to choose her words carefully.

Does she know me personally? Does she know how I educate my child or whether or not I have been educating my child? Does she know my plans for my child? I can’t take ignorant people who are willing to insult me and my wife’s parenting skills just because we didn’t want to buy her company’s product – because we hardly have money at the moment and to pay RM200 as downpayment would be too much since I only have Rm19 in my bank account at the moment and my wife only has Rm50 in her main bank account.

She may not be intentional in saying things as she did but it is not an excuse since it is her job anyway. We parents can be ultra sensitive when it comes to people questioning our parenting skills/efforts/initiatives and she’s supposed to know that, doing what she does. Since it’s Ramadhan I really tried to keep my cool, but I have limits as well – especially when she keeps on implying that I’m not educating my child enough.

I told her off, “you’re insulting us” and I asked her whether she has a family of her own and all. She retorted that she has a husband and a kid as well. So I told her that then she should understand how we young working families are. I started from scratch and having recently moved to a new house (renting) financially we’re quite weak at the moment. She then said something baffling, “at least you’re both here, my husband’s at home and I’m here working”. What has that got to do with anything? Me and my wife are working too and it just so happen you have to work on that particular Sunday. My wife works 6 days a week and I sometimes work outstation as well. But again, what has that got to do with anything?

She doesn’t seem to understand anything I’m saying and ‘diss’ed me and my wife again with her, if you don’t take the initiative to educate your children now then when are you going to actually do it? We have been educating our child since she was in my wife’s belly. Everyday we talk to her and explain to her things. It’s not as if your book and your playcards are the only thing which can stimulate my child’s brains. If that’s the case then I’m surprised that I’m even writing this entry because I certainly didn’t receive those types of education when I was 9 months old - neither did my parents.

I agree that the company’s product looks good but to be honest it’s no different than any Rm25 book that I can get at some cheap used book store and the playcards and information book is something that I can print out of the internet - It won’t be a hard cover but I can still bind/laminate and make them look as nice and it would cost 10 times less expensive at that.

Sure I probably won’t do it; but if I'm determined to spend Rm2000 on those products, I’d rather put more effort at making it myself and spend the Rm1500 on things which I can’t create myself - also for my child. Plus education doesn’t have to be about having the right product, it is about having the right approach. In which case, I’ll take my chances of not buying your product, thank you.

I now officially hate salesman (woman).